Depending on the source you read, there are several kinds of empaths that commonly described and defined. According to Judith Orloff, MD, psychiatrist, and author of The Empath’s Survival Guide, there are 10 types of empaths, which in my view extend to MenPaths as well.
They include:
Physical Empaths - You are especially attuned to other people’s physical symptoms and tend to absorb them thereby creating some emotional and physical reactions. Conversely, you can also become energized by someone’s positive sense of well being
Emotional Empaths - You mainly pick up on other people’s emotion and can become a sponge for their feelings both happy and sad
Intuitive Empaths - You experience extraordinary perceptions such as heightened intuition, telepathy, messages in dreams, animal and plant communication, as well as contact with the other side
Telepathic Empaths receive telepathic information about others in present time
Precognitive Empaths have premonitions about the future while awake or dreaming
Dream Empaths are avid dreamers and can receive intuitive information from dreams that helps others and guides them them in their own lives
Mediumship Empaths can access spirits on the other side
Plant Empaths can feel the needs of plants and connect with their essence
Earth Empaths are attuned to changes in our planet, our solar system, and the weather
Animal Empaths can tune in to animals and communicate with them
Ring any bells?
Did you see yourself in any of these descriptions?
It’s likely that you didn’t identify completely with just one type of MenPath —I don’t either—and probable that you found elements of each that could apply to you today or have applied in the past.
I’m primarily an emotional and intuitive empath, with only a few incidences of physical empath experiences in my past. I’m especially attuned to animals and feel their acceptance when it’s given.
We’re not solely one type of empath, rather we’re on a broad empathic spectrum; throughout our lifetime, we may experience some elements that span the empathic spectrum described above.
Western society eschews sensitive men
As sensitive men, we’ve likely grown up inside a society that attempted to shape our view of masculinity in ways that didn’t include being sensitive.
Most, including me, grew up thinking we were weird, feeling out of place, and definitely not ‘fitting in’ with our less sensitive guy friends. But as we matured, we eventually came to understand that our sensitivities make us unique and can actually be amplified to help others.
Bye-bye victim, hello Superhero
I definitely recommend reading Dr. Orloff’s book, The Empath Survival Guide, to become more acquainted with the empathic spectrum and where you might be within it. Dr. Orloff suggests many ways to help use your empathic traits (your MenPathic superpowers) to help you thrive in life instead of living like a victim to their limitations.
As is pinned to the top of my Twitter account:
It’s the responsibility of every HSP and empath to transcend victimhood and embrace their inherent trait-based superpowers. Embrace = educate yourself and read books and blogs dedicated to helping you embrace your greatness!
I believe this with every fiber of my being. I’ve done the deeper work of understanding and embracing my sensitivities, or as I like to call them, superpowers.
And even though I haven’t become as indestructible as Superman, I do have my moments.
You can embrace your superpowers
We can play with the big boys
As MenPaths we kind of have society’s deck of cards stacked against us.
Western society wants us to keep reinforcing the stereotypes common to our upbringing—becoming the macho man, the tough guy, the aggressive male of the species—but that goes against everything we’ve validated about our trait-based sensitivities.
We now know that our traits are the building blocks of our MenPathic Superpowers and to reject them is to continue on the path that society wants for you (whether you like it or not). Ultimately, society’s preference is not a good fit for us …and it never will be.
Some tips for moving forward
Here are three tips for exercising your superpowers in some real-life situations:
‘Locker-room talk’ at work
Instead of caving into the jocular man-speak in the coffee room that might disrespect women or others with definitive and/or protected traits (skin color, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc.), either walk away and don’t become guilty by association or say something in defense of the person or group being discussed.
If by doing so, you feel rejected by those on your team or work-group that aren’t as sensitive (the ones making the derogatory comments), it’s a signal that your superpower is making them uncomfortable, but beyond that, it’s sending a positive message that you’re not going to become a hostage to their outdated and discriminatory thinking.
Even though it might feel like a negative for you, it’s actually planting a seed within each of them that they will revisit. It’s the slow work of the MenPath at work.
When projects that aren’t aligned with your sensitivity
An important tenet in the Hippocratic Oath that I took when I graduated from medical school was, “First, do no harm.” In our society, you don’t have to be a physician to feel strongly about a similar commitment to this important principle or others that are just as meaningful in your life, such as non-violence, compassion for the homeless, or the special needs of children —to name a few of my own.
If you’re assigned to a project that violates these or another strongly held principles, you may feel like your choices are limited. Obviously you can speak to your supervisor or manager about it, if you have that kind of rapport, but you might run the risk of being seen as a non-team player.
If that’s a risk you’d prefer not to take, you have a choice to try and work on aspects of the project that aren’t in opposition to the principle, if that’s possible.
You can also find a different project that doesn’t violate any strongly held principles and make a case for how you could more positively impact that project and potentially to moved to that team.
When your relationship feels out of sync
For a MenPath, to be in relationship with someone who understands our unique sensitivities is one of life’s most rewarding elements. In my case, when we first became a couple, Karen did some reading about my HSP and empathic wiring (she doesn’t share either set of traits). It’s one of the most thoughtful things she’s ever done for me. As a result, she possesses a better understanding of the reasons why I react to stimuli the way that I do. By doing this research and discussing it with me, she not only better understands my reactivity and sensitivities, but also has a better understanding of my intensity and I understand how it makes here feel as well.
Early in our relationship I know she was overwhelmed by the intensity with which I expressed my feelings. When MenPaths love, we love with a fierce intensity because we feel and express everything at full volume, and it can take our non-empath/HSP partners by surprise and often it overwhelms them. It took some time for me to understand that I was too much to take at times and over time, we both made adjustments while keeping our communication open. Nearly four years later, we’re operating from a mutual understanding about my unique superpowers and her needs in relation to them.
If your partner doesn’t understand your sensitivities, I’d encourage you to first, read Dr. Orloff’s and Dr. Aron’s books yourself to gain the best understanding possible of your empathic and HSP traits. Then read them together and discuss the points and ideas that require it. Devoting some time to this joint activity can bring you closer as will the appreciation of the feelings on both sides on the trait.
What about you?
Have you experienced one the above situations and employed a different response that worked for you?
Are you experiencing challenges at work, WFH, or within your relationship that aren’t easily resolved?
I’m here to help in any way that I can. Please use the comment section below to start a conversation.