Though I haven’t read Joseph Campbell’s epic works on mythology, I am familiar with his take on the hero’s journey. It describes the cycle of events, causes, and effects that various myths have in common.
The hero’s journey is the epic structure defined by Campbell in The Hero with a Thousand Faces. From Zeus to the Buddha, to Jesus and Mohammad, most traditional accounts of their mythic adventures follow this cycle.
Campbell argues that the great enduring stories from around the world all share an underlying structure he calls the “monomyth.” In the introduction to his book, Campbell breaks it down:
“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
Below is a graphic representation of the Hero’s Journey and the 12 elements common to Campbell’s monomyth:
As seen on Skift.com
The MenPathic Hero’s Journey
Like the mythical figures mentioned above, as MenPathic individuals we each have a hero’s journey to undertake. Our specific journey is to abandon our identity as a snowflake that’s been victimized by our HSP and empathic traits, and instead embrace our destiny and embark upon the journey to becoming our own Superhero.
To illustrate how this journey might unfold for you, I’m going to take you through each of the 12 elements common to Campbell’s model of The Hero’s Journey. You’ll be accompanied by Frodo Baggins, the amiable Hobbit and anti-hero in J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic work, The Lord of the Rings.
Thanks to Peter Jackson’s three feature length films, we have a better understanding of not only Frodo’s life-altering and transformational journey to Mordor, but we are better able to link them to our own MenPathic Superhero’s journey to the 12 elements common to all great adventures.
THE ORDINARY WORLD
WE ALL START OUT AS ORDINARY INDIVIDUALS
1. THE ORDINARY WORLD
Frodo, accompanied by his best friend Sam and his two cousins Merry and Pippin, live quiet lives in the small, peaceful region called the Shire
When we begin our hero’s journey, we start out as snowflakes in the ordinary world, untested and somewhat meek. We suffer under the limitations our HSP and empathic personality traits impose. We might complain about how crowds affect us and how family members don’t understand us. We are, for the most part, conditioned by our past to occupy such a meek, victim-centered position.
However, we dream of breaking free of these limitations and our ordinary existence in our ordinary world. We know from reading a few blog posts and perusing some books on the topic that there are others who’ve trod this path before us.
It’s from them that we first become aware of the call to an adventure that stretches out before us like the Camino de Santiago in northern Spain or like Frodo’s treacherous path to Mount Doom deep within the darkness of Mordor.
2. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE
Gandalf the wizard urges Frodo to set out on an epic quest to destroy the ring and thereby destroy the powerful dark Lord sauron who lives within mount doom deep behind the borders of mordor.
The call to adventure is the promise of an ultimate reward, a better way of living in our ordinary world. As our interest is piqued by the call—perhaps by our Twitter feed that links to a blog post about thriving as an HSP and/or empathic; perhaps we read a book like The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron or The Empath’s Survival Guide by Dr. Judith Orloff, or even The Awakened Empath by Aletheia Luna—a glimmer of hope appears on the horizon and we are convinced that the only way to truly transcend our identity as a victim is the undertake this transformational journey. (You can read more about these books here.)
3. REFUSAL OF THE CALL
Frodo is initially reluctant to leave his comfortable life in Shire, but when he is almost killed by the Ringwraiths (Sauron’s minions) he realizes his life will always be at risk as long as the ring exists.
Like Frodo, we understand that there is a journey ahead of us after some thought, we initially reject the call to adventure citing as reasons that we are not the right person for this adventure. There are real risks to take, emotional mountains to climb, and perhaps actual danger to our perceived way of life that we’d rather not encounter.
We are comfortable in our own Shire-like life of feeling limited by our traits…after all, it’s all we’ve ever known. Who are we to embark on an epic journey? Why do we need to undertake this quest to become our own Superhero?
But in time, also like Frodo, we realize that unless we embark upon this journey, we will forever be limited by our victim mentality and never rise above the limitations seemingly placed on us by our MenPathic traits.
In Zen there is a saying, “When the student is ready, the Master appears.” In our MenPathic hero’s journey, we must come to a place of readiness and only then will we meet the mentor.
4. MEETING THE MENTOR
Frodo meets the Fellowship, a group of trusted allies that have pledged to help Frodo in his quest to destroy the ring.
But also like Frodo meeting Gandalf the Gray wizard, at some point we encounter a mentor in the form of writers, bloggers, a coach, or other MenPathic individuals that provide the counsel and wisdom that pushes us into the realm of commitment.
We know that although the journey might be arduous and the terrain unknown, we are committed to the path of embracing our MenPathic superpowers. It is only now that we leave our ordinary world and ordinary lives and embark upon the journey to becoming our own Superhero.
It is here that we cross into the special world.
THE SPECIAL WORLD
WHERE OUR SUPERHERO’S JOURNEY REALLY BEGINS
5. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD
Frodo begins his quest with the aid of the Fellowship on his long journey to Mount Doom, the only place where this ring can be destroyed.
As we begin our own hero’s journey into the special world of our MenPathic superpowers, we read everything we can find on our HSP and empathic traits. We read the seminal books, listen to podcasts, and watch videos on YouTube. We compare what we learn to that which we know to be true about ourselves. Not everything we learn is true for us, as our individual experiences can vary from person to person.
At the heart of the MenPathic journey are the collective experiences where our path intersects others’ and we soon learn that there tests, allies, and enemies around every corner.
Yet, instead of fearing these discoveries, we recognize each as milestones in the journey that aid us in transcending our victimization and self-imposed limitations so we can can fully embrace our MenPathic superpowers and thrive in life.
6. TESTS, ALLIES, AND ENEMIES
Frodo encounters many obstacles, allies, and enemies along the way as He journeys over the mountain passes. he barely escapes the wrath of Balrog, he BEFRIENDS the elves, and he is attacked by the creature Gollum.
It is during this portion of our Superhero journey of deep work consisting of investigation, education, experimentation, and honest-to-goodness soul-searching that we also encounter forces that test our existing relationships. Through these often confrontational encounters, we discover whom we can trust and who we cannot.
We discover the narcissists in our past and current relationships and how they affect us; though it can be a painful process to uncover these individuals, it is essential to our journey of self-discovery that we do.
We also discover and investigate the triggers that get our Spidey Senses tingling (I’m mixing superhero metaphors a bit here). Armed with more knowledge around these triggers we are better able to create strategies and practices and experiment with them to decrease the effects of such triggers in the future. As we do, we draw ever nearer the innermost cave at the heart of our journey.
7. APPROACHING THE INNERMOST CAVE
frodo and Sam continue their long journey to the fires of Mount Doom. Frodo and Sam use Gollum as a guide to travel the secret paths to reach the entrance of Mount Doom.
Only after this point in our journey, can we begin to cultivate our own sense of MenPathic identity. We leave the comfort of our previously comfortable superficial curiosity that only scratched the surface of the MenPathic traits and set out alone on the arduous journey of embracing our own highly individual superpowers.
Perhaps we engage a coach to guide our path and work with us to understand on a deeper level how to incorporate our MenPathic superpowers into our everyday life. Maybe we keep a journal to record the highs and lows of our journey so that we can refer back to the entries as our future selves shift to help others on their own journey.
We know that as we approach the innermost cave, it is there that we will face the crucible of the extreme ordeal that will determine once and for all whether we have what it takes to fully embrace our MenPathic superpowers.
8. THE SUPREME ORDEAL
FACED WITH THE SUPREME ORDEAL OF CONFRONTING THE DARK FORCES OF SUARON, IT IS UNCERTAIN IF Frodo will achieve his goal of reaching Mount Doom to destroy the ring.
Like Frodo and Sam’s final approach to Mount Doom in Mordor, we will face an ultimate test of some kind, usually involving the same types of stimuli and personalities that represent our kryptonite, the stuff that depletes our superpower energy stores.
If we’ve paid close attention along the way and taken the teachings of our mentors, experiences, and even those of our enemies to heart and applied them to our lives, we will emerge from the extreme ordeal victorious over the forces that previously debilitated us and bravely seize the sword.
For me it was a two-fold experience: cutting the ties with my narcissistic mother and the final face-off with my former boss who was a covert narcissist. Both of these experiences left me emotionally and physically depleted but each were essential in my own journey to more fully embrace my MenPathic superpowers.
These experiences led me to discover abilities and practices that I’d not previously embraced. With regard to the relationship with my mother, it led to developing clear boundaries for the relationship. Such boundaries include limiting the number of times I interact with her, preparing myself for those times that I spend with her on the phone and in person, and recovery strategies for when that time is concluded.
With regard to my former boss, I attempted to create boundaries and arrive at strategies for working for him without experiencing both emotional and physical depletion, but I eventually made the decision to leave the firm and seek employment elsewhere.
Sometimes creating boundaries is sufficient and developing practices (shielding, self-soothing, meditation) that better prepare us for such encounters with our energy vampires. But sometimes cutting the ties altogether with those that deplete our life energy is the only way to survive, thrive, and seize the sword.
9. SEIZING THE SWORD
The destruction of the ring in Mount Doom and the victory of the cumulative prowess of the Fellowship and its allies over the forces of Sauron.
Like Frodo finally casting the ring into fire of Mount Doom thus ending his arduous quest, so we are destined to fully embrace our identity as a MenPathic Superhero. It comes after a great deal of deep work and only afterward can we seize the sword and become our own Superhero.
But the journey isn’t over, in fact, it never ends. Like the Zen saying goes, “Before enlightenment, carrying water and chopping wood; After enlightenment, carrying water and chopping wood,” we understand that embracing our MenPathic superpowers is an important step that doesn’t immediately change the world, but instead, it transforms us forever.
When we realize this, we are are ready to make the final portion of our transformational journey on the road back.
10. THE ROAD BACK
Frodo falls unconscious after extreme mental exhaustion of finally getting rid of the ring. Sam and Frodo are rescued by Gandalf and his eagles.
Following our ultimate ordeal, there is a time of recovery that’s necessary for reflection and re-purposing of our priorities. We often feel depleted to the point of exhaustion and require a week or more of recovery before our resurrection.
After my resignation and departure from my former employer, I began my journey home, both physically and mentally.
However, I was physically and emotionally exhausted and required a week to fully recover and regain my physical and emotional strength.
It is critical that as we begin this journey back to our ordinary world, to realize that there is nothing ordinary about our lives any longer. In fact, there never was, we just couldn’t see it because our vision was blurred by the victim-mentality we adopted early on.
We realize that in taking this journey and giving ourselves the time to reflect and recover, we rescued ourselves and experience a kind of resurrection. Gone is the victim and the complainer, as they have been vanquished by our new identity as a MenPathic Superhero.
Like superheroes, we are rescuers but not in the way that sets out to change another person—that’s codependency. Instead, we have rescued ourselves from our previous limitations and only at this point have fully embraced superpowers and become our own MenPathic Superhero.
11. RESURRECTION
a few weeks later Frodo awakens from his exhausted state to witness Aragon’s marriage to his longtime love Arwen and his ascent to the throne of the realm.
Like Frodo and Sam being rescued my Gandalf and his eagles and carried away to safety, we are able to find a better alternative to our previous existence. We have resurrected ourselves while undertaking our Superhero’s journey. We are ready to go forth and do good, lead productive lives that are marked by compassion and empathy.
In doing so, we re-enter the Ordinary World, but not as the same person, rather as as own Superhero having come through the ultimate test.
RE-ENTERING THE ORDINARY WORLD
BUT FOREVER CHANGED BY THE JOURNEY
12. RETURNING TO THE ORDINARY WORLD WITH THE ELIXIR
Frodo returns to THE Shire with more powerful relationships AND A NEW APPRECIATION FOR HIS LIFE IN THE SHIRE. HE HAS BEEN FOREVER CHANGED BY THE JOURNEY.
As we come back to the place where we started, we see everything differently—not because everyone else has changed—but because we have been transformed.
Having fully embraced our MenPathic traits and created strategies and practices for thriving as a MenPath we are ready to lead the life of a Superhero.
While we may lead ordinary lives and work our 9-to-5 jobs day-in and day-out as before, within us is the knowledge and experience gained by having endured our Superhero’s journey.
We are better able to recognize the suffering of others and when appropriate offer empathetic advice and leadership to others as they embark on their own journey of self-discovery.
We have become our own Superhero.